Thursday, December 31, 2009

Be Positive

"Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words.
Keep your words positive because your words become your behaviors.
Keep your behaviors positive because your behaviors become your habits.
Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values.
Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny"
Mahatma Ghandi

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Terrorist Groups Operating in Churches

Latest news reports are that five terrorist cell groups have been operating in many of our churches. They have been identified as: Bin Sleepin, Bin Arguin, Bin Fightin, Bin Complainin, and Bin Missin. Their leader, Osama Bin Lucifer, trained these groups to destroy the Body of Christ. The plan is to come into the church disguised as Christians and to work within the church to discourage, disrupt, and destroy. However, there have been reports of a sixth group. A tiny cell known by the name Bin Prayin is actually the only effective counter terrorism force in the church. Unlike other terrorist cells, the Bin Prayin team does not blend in with whoever and whatever comes along. Bin Prayin does whatever is needed to uplift and encourage the Body of Christ. We have noticed that the Bin Prayin cell group has different characteristics than the others. They have Bin Watchin, Bin Waitin, Bin Fastin, and Bin Longin for their Master, Jesus Christ to return. Which cell group do you belong to? And guess what, no church is exempt. However, you can spot them if you"bin lookin".

note *** The heart of him that hath understanding seeketh knowledge: but the mouth of fools feedeth on foolishness (Proverbs 15:14).

source: H. D. Bolton

Monday, November 16, 2009

Will Rogers ABOUT GROWING OLDER...

  1. Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
  2. The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
  3. Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
  4. When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
  5. You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
  6. I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.
  7. One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.
  8. One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.
  9. Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
  10. Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf .....And finally
  11. If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.

Smile and have a great day!!

source: October 2008 from my friend H. D. Bolton

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

50th High School Reunion

About a month ago, I went to my 50th high school union. The last one I attended, before the 50th, was the 15th. It was my first trip home in quite awhile. There were a lot of changes to the physical landscape while I've been away but the biggest change I noticed was in myself and my perspective of things. The streets, buildings, city blocks, and the town were much smaller than I remembered. Many of the people -- including myself -- had changed in physical appearance; however, several of the people were immediately recognizable. Not many, but some!

There was so much catching up to do! I couldn't do it in one evening. I've been planning to write to several of my class mates since the reunion but I haven't. Is it because I don't have the time or haven't taken the time. Is it because other than saying "It was great to see you!" I don't know what else to say.

There were over 200 to 300 graduates in our class and at least 30 of them were deceased. I was surprised at who was no longer among the living. I was also surprised in the connections or my perceptions of the deceased! Two of the prettiest girls in the class were deceased -- one I learned had died several years ago. Three of the deceased played on the varsity football team and two of them I just thought would live and be gregarious for ever. Two of the guys and one girl were what I considered a close knit group. For all three of them to be dead was just beyond what I would have believed.

Life is what it is but I don't think it never lives up to our perceptions of it! Things are never as great or as low as we think. They are never as happy or sad as we imagined. They are never as idyllic or devastating as we may perceive them. LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT! There will be good times and bad times, happy times and sad times BUT MOSTLY, life just is. God gives us a chance everyday to make a difference but whether we do or not is up to us. It all begins and ends with us as individuals. We make life what it is -- good, bad, or indifferent. We can be a blessing or a curse. It is really up to us. As the ole folks used to say -- and probably still do -- "Each tub must sit on its own bottom!" Life is what you make it.

I have committed myself to making life better, but whether I do or not won't be known until the books are opened (Rev 20: 12). May God bless you and keep you until we meet again. Amen!

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Ramblings

My wife and I often reaffirm to each other "God has sure been good to us. We have come a mighty long way from our humble beginnings." We weren't raised in poverty nor in privilege but where we are now is higher on the ladder of social position then where we were when we were growing up. At least it seems that way sometimes? But as I reflect, and given my understanding of social strata from my perspective, we are probably no better or worse off then when we were younger. Oh yes, the community has changed. Employment positions and status are different! But in a very real sense, we are probably in the same social position now as our families were them, mutatis mutundis.

Does it matter? Is there a consequence we should be cognizant of. I honestly don't know. In fact, I frequently ask myself, what do I know? I say I know that I've done the best I could with what I've had. Could I have done better -- probably yes. But on the other hand the question could be asked, could I have done worst(?) and I'm sure the answer is yes. Have I lived up to God's expectations of me? But then, I think I'm living the life God predestined for me.

Predestination! Now there is a topic worthy of consideration. There are parts of the Bible which confuse me on predestination. And, maybe it isn't the Bible but the way many of the people that I've discussed predestination with interpret it -- i.e. from a biblical sense. I learned early on that I know very little with absolute certainty. I think that is where the concept of "I do the best I can with what I've got!" came from. God knows that I try to be a good person but I'm also human and have certainly fallen short of what God would have me be.

Oops -- sorry! The drier button just went off and I need to go fold some cloths. I'll end for now but maybe -- the good Lord willing -- I will revisit these thoughts in the not to distant future

C'est la vie!

Friday, October 30, 2009

I Believe

For some reason, I can't get the following thought out of my mind this morning.

"I believe in God the Father Almight, maker of heaven and earth, the birth and resurrection of his son Jesus Christ, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and life everlasting."

This may not be an exact quote but I learned it in the African Methodist Episcopal Church when I was growing up in Carlisle (PA). As far back as I can remember, I've been in the Church -- i.e., the body of true believers -- and I still am!

I further believe, man was not meant to be alone, nor was I.

Thank you God for my wife, my childen, family, friends, and the Church.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Temperance and Hymn # 365

A minister was completing a temperance sermon.

With great emphasis he said, 'If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

With even greater emphasis he said, 'And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he said, 'And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and pour it into theRiver.'

Sermon complete, he sat down.

The song leader stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, nearly laughing,
'For our closing song, Let us sing Hymn #365, 'Shall We Gather at the River.'

Smile, life is too short not to!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Parent Job Description

Long term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :
None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

FOOTNOTE: 'THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!!

source: Charles Pittman's Bonus Quotes Sept 9, 2009

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

The Wicker Basket

The story is told of an old man who lived on a farm in the mountains of eastern Kentucky with his young grandson. Each morning, Grandpa was up early sitting at the kitchen table reading from his old worn-out Bible. His grandson who wanted to be just like him tried to imitate him in any way he could.

One day the grandson asked, 'Papa, I try to read the Bible just like you but I don't understand it, and what I do understand I forget as soon as I close the book. What good does reading the Bible do?'

The Grandfather quietly turned from putting coal in the stove and said, 'Take this old wicker coal basket down to the river and bring back a basket of water.' The boy did as he was told, even though all the water leaked out before he could get back to the house. The grandfather laughed and said, 'You will have to move a little faster next time,' and sent him back to the river with the basket to try again. This time the boy ran faster, but again the old wicker basket was empty before he returned home. Out of breath, he told his grandfather that it was 'impossible to carry water in a basket,' and he went to get a bucket instead. The old man said, 'I don't want a bucket of water; I want a basket of water. You can do this. You're just not trying hard enough,' and he went out the door to watch the boy try again.

At this point, the boy knew it was impossible, but he wanted to show his grandfather that even if he ran as fast as he could, the water would leak out before he got far at all. The boy scooped the water and ran hard, but when he reached his grandfather the basket was again empty. Out of breath, he said, 'See Papa, it's useless!' 'So you think it is useless?'

The old man said, 'Look at the basket.' The boy looked at the basket and for the first time he realized that the basket looked different. Instead of a dirty old wicker coal basket, it was clean. 'Son, that's what happens when you read the Bible. You might not understand or remember everything, but when you read it, it will change you from the inside out.'

Moral of the wicker basket story: Take time to read a portion of God's word each day; it will affect you for good even if you don't retain a word.

Thought for Today: God’s Love is like the ocean, you can see its beginnings but not its end.

I really like this story because I don't retain things too well anymore...old age may have something to do with it but I just figure my brain just gets overloaded! God isn't concerned about your brain anyway, He's more concerned about your heart.


source: Peggy Harris

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Be Thankful

Be thankful that you don’t already have everything you desire. If you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don’t know something, for it gives you the opportunity to learn.

Be thankful for the difficult times. During those times you grow.

Be thankful for your limitations, because they give you opportunities for improvement.

Be thankful for your mistakes. They will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you’re tired and weary, because it means you’ve made a difference.

It’s easy to be thankful for the good things.

A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks.

Find a way to be thankful for your troubles, and they can become your blessings.

Source: Indian Child via Charles Pittman's "Thought for the Day" (June 12, 2009)

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

God's Wings

After a forest fire in Yellowstone National Park, forest rangers began their trek up a mountain to assess the inferno's damage. One ranger found a bird literally petrified in ashes, perched statuesquely on the ground at the base of a tree. Somewhat sickened by the eerie sight, he knocked over the bird with a stick. When he gently struck it, three tiny chicks scurried from under their dead mother's wings. The loving mother, keenly aware of impending disaster, had carried her offspring to the base of the tree and had gathered them under her wings, instinctively knowing that the toxic smoke would rise. She could have flown to safety but had refused to abandon her babies. Then the blaze had arrived and the heat had scorched her small body, the mother had remained steadfast...because she had been willing to die, so those under the cover of her wings would live.

'He will cover you with His feathers, And under His wings you will find refuge.'(Psalm 91:4)

Being loved this much should make a difference in your life. Remember the One who loves you, and then be different because of it.

Source: Jim Norris

Monday, July 13, 2009

Suggested Behavior

Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully

Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

When you say, 'I love you ,' mean it.

When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye

Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

Believe in love at first sight.

Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

Don't judge people by their relatives...

Talk slowly but think quickly.

When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'

Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.

When you lose, don't lose the lesson !

Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship...

When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

Spend some time alone.

source: Sharon Wade via Margaret Lewis

Thursday, June 4, 2009

The Sack Lunches

I put my carry-on in the luggage compartment and sat down in my assigned seat. It was going to be a long flight... 'I'm glad I have a good book to read. Perhaps I will get a short nap,' I thought.

Just before take-off, a line of soldiers came down the aisle and filled all the vacant seats, totally surrounding me. I decided to start a conversation. 'Where are you headed?' I asked the soldier seated nearest to me.

'Petawawa. We'll be there for two weeks for special training, and then we're being deployed to Afghanistan.’

After flying for about an hour, an announcement was made that sack lunches were available for five dollars. It would be several hours before we reached the east, and I quickly decided a lunch would help pass the time..

As I reached for my wallet, I overheard one soldier ask his buddy if he planned to buy lunch. 'No, that seems like a lot of money for just a sack lunch. Probably wouldn't be worth five bucks. I'll wait till we get to base '

His friend agreed.

I looked around at the other soldiers. None were buying lunch. I walked to the back of the plane and handed the flight attendant a fifty dollar bill. 'Take a lunch to all those soldiers.' She grabbed my arms and squeezed tightly. Her eyes wet with tears, she thanked me. 'My son was a soldier in Iraq ; it's almost like you are doing it for him.'

Picking up ten sacks, she headed up the aisle to where the soldiers were seated. She stopped at my seat and asked, 'Which do you like best - beef or chicken?'

'Chicken,' I replied, wondering why she asked. She turned and went to the front of plane, returning a minute later with a dinner plate from first class. This is your thanks.'

After we finished eating, I went again to the back of the plane, heading for the rest room. A man stopped me. 'I saw what you did. I want to be part of it. Here, take this.' He handed me twenty-five dollars..

Soon after I returned to my seat, I saw the Flight Captain coming down the aisle, looking at the aisle numbers as he walked, I hoped he was not looking for me, but noticed he was looking at the numbers only on my side of the plane. When he got to my row he stopped, smiled, held out his hand, and said, 'I want to shake your hand.'

Quickly unfastening my seatbelt I stood and took the Captain's hand. With a booming voice he said, 'I was a soldier and I was a military pilot. Once, someone bought me a lunch. It was an act of kindness I never forgot.' I was embarrassed when applause was heard from all of the passengers.

Later I walked to the front of the plane so I could stretch my legs. A man who was seated about six rows in front of me reached out his hand, wanting to shake mine. He left another twenty-five dollars in my palm.

When we landed I gathered my belongings and started to deplane. Waiting just inside the airplane door was a man who stopped me, put something in my shirt pocket, turned, and walked away without saying a word. Another twenty-five dollars!

Upon entering the terminal, I saw the soldiers gathering for their trip to the base. I walked over to them and handed them seventy-five dollars. 'It will take you some time to reach the base. It will be about time for a sandwich. God Bless You.'

Ten young men left that flight feeling the love and respect of their fellow travelers. As I walked briskly to my car, I whispered a prayer for their safe return. These soldiers were giving their all for our country. I could only give them a couple of meals.

It seemed so little...

Source: e-mail from Cheryl Barker

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

A Dog's Purpose

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.

I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn't do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker 's family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.

The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker's Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives.�
Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, ''I know why.''

Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation. It has changed the way I try and live.

He said,''People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life -- like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?''�
The Six-year-old continued,''Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long.''

Live simply.

Love generously.

Care deeply.

Speak kindly.

Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure Ecstasy.

Take naps.

Stretch before rising.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.

On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Be loyal.

Never pretend to be something you're not.

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.

ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY!

'Animals come into our lives as gifts from God, for companionship, to teach us, and to heal us. They deserve our very best efforts in caring for them'...Dr. Ihor Basko, DVM�

Source: Kristina Beatty

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Sharing Love While You Can

A friend of mine shared this story with me and I'd like to share it with you.

After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, 'I love you, but I know this other woman loves you and would Love to spend some time with you.' The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my Mother, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally.

That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie. 'What's wrong, are you well,' she asked? My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news. 'I thought that it would be pleasant to spend some time with you,' I responded 'just the two of us.' She thought about it for a moment, and then said, 'I would like that very much.'

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date. She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary. She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel's. 'I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed,' she said, as she got into the car. 'They can't wait to hear about our meeting.'

We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady. After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print. Half-way through the entrees, I lifted my eyes and saw Mother sitting there staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips. 'It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small,' she said. 'Then it's time that you relax and let me return the favor,' I responded.

During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation nothing extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each other's life. We talked so much that we missed the movie. As we arrived at her house later, she said, 'I'll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you.' I agreed.

'How was your dinner date?' asked my wife when I got home. 'Very nice, much more so than I could have imagined,' I answered. A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn't have a chance to do anything for her. Sometime later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place Mother and I had dined. An attached note said: 'I paid this bill in advance. I wasn't sure that I could be there; but, nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. 'I love you, son' At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: 'I love YOU' and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is more important than your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till some 'other' time.

Source: Jim Norris

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Mutual Responsibility

... our greatness as a nation has depended on individual initiative,
on a belief in the free market.
But it has also depended on our sense of mutual regard for each other,
of mutual responsibility.
The idea that everybody has a stake in the country,
that we're all in it together and
everybody's got a shot at opportunity. Americans know this.
We know ... government can't solve all our problems - and we don't want it to.
But we also know that there are some things we can't do on our own.
We know that there are some things we do better together.


source: President Barrack O'bama via Charles Pittman's Quotes

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

God's grace and mercy -- making it real

There was a certain Professor of Religion named Dr Christianson, a studious man who taught at a small college in the western United States . Dr. Christianson taught the required survey course in Christianity at this particular institution. Every student was required to take this course his freshman year, regardless of his or her major.

Although Dr. Christianson tried hard to communicate the essence of the gospel in his class, he found that most of his students looked upon the course as nothing but required drudgery. Despite his best efforts, most students refused to take Christianity seriously.

This year, Dr. Christianson had a special student named Steve. Steve was only a freshman, but was studying with the intent of going on to seminary for the ministry. Steve was popular, he was well liked, and he was an imposing physical specimen. He was now the starting center on the school football team, and was the best student in the professor's class.

One day, Dr. Christianson asked Steve to stay after class so he could talk with him. 'How many push-ups can you do?'

Steve said, 'I do about 200 every night.' '200?’

That's pretty good, Steve, ' Dr. Christianson said.

'Do you think you could do 300?'

Steve replied, 'I don't know.... I've never done 300 at a time.'

'Do you think you could?' again asked Dr. Christianson.

'Well, I can try,' said Steve.

'Can you do 300 in sets of 10? I have a class project in mind and I need you to do about 300 push-ups in sets of ten for this to work. Can you do it? I need you to tell me you can do it,' said the professor.

Steve said, 'Well... I think I can...yeah, I can do it..'

Dr. Christianson said, 'Good! I need you to do this on Friday. Let me explain what I have in mind.'

Friday came and Steve got to class early and sat in the front of the room. When class started, the professor pulled out a big box of donuts. No, these weren't the normal kinds of donuts, they were the extra fancy BIG kind, with cream centers and frosting swirls. Everyone was pretty excited it was Friday, the last class of the day, and they were going to get an early start on the weekend with a party in Dr. Christianson's class.

Dr. Christianson went to the first girl in the first row and asked,
'Cynthia, do you want to have one of these donuts?'

Cynthia said, 'Yes.'

Dr. Christianson then turned to Steve and asked, 'Steve, would you do ten push-ups so that Cynthia can have a donut?'

'Sure!' Steve jumped down from his desk to do a quick ten. Then Steve again sat in his desk. Dr. Christianson put a donut on Cynthia's desk.

Dr. Christianson then went to Joe, the next person, and asked, 'Joe, do you want a donut?'

Joe said, 'Yes.'

Dr. Christianson asked, 'Steve would you do ten push-ups so Joe can have a donut?'

Steve did ten push-ups, Joe got a donut.. And so it went, down the first aisle, Steve did ten push-ups for every person before they got their donut. Walking down the second aisle, Dr. Christianson came to Scott. Scott was on the basketball team, and in as good condition as Steve. He was very popular and never lacking for female companionship. When the professor asked, 'Scott do you want a donut?'

Scott's reply was, 'Well, can I do my own push-ups?'

Dr. Christianson said, 'No, Steve has to do them.'

Then Scott said, 'Well, I don't want one then.'

Dr. Christianson shrugged and then turned to Steve and asked, 'Steve, would you do ten push-ups so Scott can have a donut he doesn't want?'

With perfect obedience Steve started to do ten push-ups.

Scott said, 'HEY! I said I didn't want one!'

Dr. Christianson said, 'Look! This is my classroom, my class, my desks, and these are my donuts. Just leave it on the desk if you don't want it.' And he put a donut on Scott's desk.

Now by this time, Steve had begun to slow down a little. He just stayed on the floor between sets because it took too much effort to be getting up and down. You could start to see a little perspiration coming out around his brow..

Dr. Christianson started down the third row. Now the students were beginning to get a little angry.

Dr. Christianson asked Jenny, 'Jenny, do you want a donut?'

Sternly, Jenny said, 'No.'

Then Dr. Christianson asked Steve, 'Steve, would you do ten more push-ups so Jenny can have a donut that she doesn't want?'

Steve did ten....Jenny got a donut.

By now, a growing sense of uneasiness filled the room. The students were beginning to say, 'No!' and there were all these uneaten donuts on the desks.

Steve also had to really put forth a lot of extra effort to get these push-ups done for each donut. There began to be a small pool of sweat on the floor beneath his face, his arms and brow were beginning to get red because of the physical effort involved.

Dr. Christianson asked Robert, who was the most vocal unbeliever in the class, to watch Steve do each push up to make sure he did the full ten push-ups in a set because he couldn't bear to watch all of Steve's work for all of those uneaten donuts. He sent Robert over to where Steve was so Robert could count the set and watch Steve closely.

Dr. Christianson started down the fourth row. During his class, however, some students from other classes had wandered in and sat down on the steps along the radiators that ran down the sides of the room. When the professor realized this, he did a quick count and saw that now there were 34 students in the room. He started to worry if Steve would be able to make it.

Dr. Christianson went on to the next person and the next and the next. Near the end of that row, Steve was really having a rough time. He was taking a lot more time to complete each set.

Steve asked Dr. Christianson, 'Do I have to make my nose touch on each one?'

Dr. Christianson thought for a moment, 'Well, they're your pushups. You are in charge now. You can do them any way that you want.' And Dr. Christianson went on.

A few moments later, Jason, a recent transfer student, came to the room and was about to come in when all the students yelled in one voice, 'NO! Don't come in! Stay out!' Jason didn't know what was going on.

Steve picked up his head and said, 'No, let him come.'

Professor Christianson said, 'You realize that if Jason comes in you will have to do ten push-ups for him?'

Steve said, 'Yes, let him come in. Give him a donut.'

Dr. Christianson said, 'Okay, Steve, I'll let you get Jason's out of the way right now. Jason, do you want a donut?' Jason, new to the room, hardly knew what was going on. 'Yes,' he said, 'give me a donut.' 'Steve, will you do ten push-ups so that Jason can have a donut?'

Steve did ten push-ups very slowly and with great effort. Jason, bewildered, was handed a donut and sat down.

Dr. Christianson finished the fourth row, and then started on those visitors seated by the heaters. Steve's arms were now shaking with each push-up in a struggle to lift himself against the force of gravity. By this time sweat was profusely dropping off of his face, there was no sound except his heavy breathing; there was not a dry eye in the room.

The very last two students in the room were two young women, both cheerleaders, and very popular. Dr. Christianson went to Linda, the second to last, and asked, 'Linda, do you want a donut?'

Linda said, very sadly, 'No, thank you.'

Professor Christianson quietly asked, 'Steve, would you do ten push-ups so that Linda can have a donut she doesn't want?'

Grunting from the effort, Steve did ten very slow push-ups for Linda. Then Dr. Christianson turned to the last girl, Susan. 'Susan, do you want a donut?'

Susan, with tears flowing down her face, began to cry. 'Dr.
Christianson, why can't I help him?'

Dr. Christianson, with tears of his own, said, 'No, Steve has to do it alone; I have given him this task and he is in charge of seeing that everyone has an opportunity for a donut whether they want it or not. When I decided to have a party this last day of class, I looked at my grade book.

Steve here is the only student with a perfect grade. Everyone else has failed a test, skipped class, or offered me inferior work. Steve told me that in football practice, when a player messes up he must do push-ups. I told Steve that none of you could come to my party unless he paid the price by doing your push ups. He and I made a deal for your sakes.'

'Steve, would you do ten push-ups so Susan can have a donut?'

As Steve very slowly finished his last push-up, with the understanding that he had accomplished all that was required of him, having done 350 push-ups, his arms buckled beneath him and he fell to the floor.

Dr. Christianson turned to the room and said, 'And so it was, that our Savior, Jesus Christ, on the cross, plead to the Father, 'Into thy hands I commend my spirit.' With the understanding that He had done everything that was required of Him, He yielded up His life. And like some of those in this room, many of us leave the gift on the desk, uneaten.'

Two students helped Steve up off the floor and to a seat, physically exhausted, but wearing a thin smile.

'Well done, good and faithful servant,' said the professor, adding, 'Not all sermons are preached in words.'

Turning to his class, the professor said, 'My wish is that you might understand and fully comprehend all the riches of grace and mercy that have been given to you through the sacrifice of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He spared not His only Begotten Son, but gave Him up for us all, for the whole Church, now and forever. Whether or not we choose to accept His gift to us, the price has been paid.'

Source: Jim Norris

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Attitude is everything!

No matter the challenges that are in our path, we should always be quick to recognize that we can use those challenges to make us better than we were before.

No matter the trials or tribulations that are presently before us, if we have the proper attitude and see those problems in the right way, we can use them to help make us wiser, stronger, more patient, more loving and more appreciative for our life.

It is all in our perspective -- i.e., how we handle a difficult situation.

We can see it as difficult and impossible and simply give up or we can do what God wishes for us and stand firm in faith knowing that nothing shall be able to overtake us. (Hebrews 13:6)

Have the right attitude in life. Be an optimist who sees the good and never the bad. Don't see your cup only as half-full, see it as filled to the tip and overflowing.

Have an overcoming rise above attitude knowing that with God by your side nothing shall be impossible to you. (Luke 1:37)

Every challenge in our life can be used to make us stronger and better then we were before.

Source: Jim Hurt

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Recall Message

The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed "Sub-sequential Internal Non-Morality," or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.

Some of the symptoms include:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion in the mental component
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion

The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect.
The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required. The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure.. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.

No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control

Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Believers' Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.

WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus.

DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility.
Thank you for your attention!

- GOD

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

The Secret

One day, one friend asked another, "How is it that you are always so happy? You have so much energy, and you never seem to get down." With her eyes smiling, she said, "I know the Secret!" "What secret is that?" To which she replied, "I'll tell you all about it, but you have to promise to share the Secret with others."

"The Secret is this: I have learned there is little I can do in my life that will make me truly happy. I must depend on God to make me happy and to meet my needs. When a need arises in my life, I have to trust God to supply according to HIS riches. I have learned most of the time I don't need half of what I think I do. He has never let me down. Since I learned that 'Secret', I am happy." The questioner's first thought was, "That's too simple!"

But upon reflecting over her own life she recalled how she thought a bigger house would make her happy, but it didn't! She thought a better paying job would make her happy, but it hadn't. When did she realize her greatest happiness? Sitting on the floor with her grandchildren, playing games, eating pizza or reading a story, a simple gift from God

Now you know it too! We can't depend on people to make us happy. Only GOD in His infinite wisdom can do that. Trust HIM!

Now, I pass the Secret on to you! So once you get it, what will you do? YOU have to tell someone the Secret, too! That GOD in His wisdom will take care of YOU! But it's not really a secret... We just have to believe it and do it... Really trust God!

Source: Angel Cr (?)

Friday, April 17, 2009

Million - Billion -Trillion: A perspective

A million seconds = 12 days
A bilion seconds = 31 years
A trillion seconds = 31,688 years

A million minutes ago was 1 year, 329 days, 10 hours, and 40 minutes ago.
A billion minutes ago was just after the the time of Christ.

A million hours ago was 1885.
A billion hours ago man had not walked on the earth.

A million dollars was five seconds ago at the U. S. Trasury
A billion dollars ago was late yesterady afternoon at the U.S. Treasury
A trillion dollars is so large that only politicians can use the term in conversation ... probably because they seldom think about what they are saying. I've been told that mathematicians do not even use the term trillion!

Here is some perspectove on a trillion -- 1,000,000,000,000
The country has not existed for a trillion seconds.
Western civilization has not been around a trillion seconds.
One trillion seconds ago (31,688 years), Neanderthals stalked the plains of Europe.

Source: Sir Thomas O'Shaugnessy -- the Waynesboro Flash

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Kids Say the Darnest Things: Nudity

I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved.

She was stark naked!

As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat,

'Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!'

Thursday, February 26, 2009

DOCTORS' OPINIONS OF THE BAIL OUT PACKAGE

The Allergists voted to scratch it, and
the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.
The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but
the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve, and
the Obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a misconception.
The Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.
The Pathologists yelled, 'Over my dead body!'
while the Pediatricians said, 'Oh, Grow up!'
The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness,
the Radiologists could see right through it, and
the Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.
The Internists thought it wa s a bitter pill to swallow, and
the Plastic Surgeons said, 'This puts a whole new face on the matter.'
The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but
the Urologists felt the scheme wouldn't hold water.
The Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and
the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.
In the end, the Proctologists left the decision up to some assholes in Washington .

source: My good friend the Rev. H. D. Bolton and his e-mail friends.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

You Are My Sunshine.

Like any good mother, when Karen found out that another baby was on the way, she did what she could to help her 3-year-old son, Michael, prepare for a new sibling. They found out that the new baby was going be a girl, and day after day, night after night, Michael sang to his sister in mommy's tummy. He was building a bond of love with his little sister before he even met her. The pregnancy progressed normally for Karen, an active member of the Panther Creek United Methodist Church in Morristown , Tennessee

In time, the labor pains came. Soon it was every five minutes, every three, every minute. But serious complications arose during delivery and Karen found herself in hours of labor.. Would a C-section be required? Finally, after a long struggle, Michael's little sister was born. But she was in very serious condition. With a siren howling in the night, the ambulance rushed the infant to the neonatal intensive care unit at St. Mary's Hospital, Knoxville, Tennessee The days inched by. The little girl got worse. The pediatrician had to tell the parents there is very little hope. Be prepared for the worst.

Karen and her husband contacted a local cemetery about a burial plot. They had fixed up a special room in their house for their new baby but now they found themselves having to plan for a funeral. Michael, however, kept begging his parents to let him see his sister. I want to sing to her, he kept saying. Week two in intensive care looked as if a funeral would come before the week was over. Michael kept nagging about singing to his sister, but kids are never allowed in Intensive Care. Karen decided to take Michael whether they liked it or not. If he didn't see his sister right then, he may never see her alive. She dressed him in an over sized scrub suit and marched him into ICU. I looked like a walking laundry basket. The head nurse recognized him as a child and bellowed,

'Get that kid out of here now. No children are allowed.'

The mother rose up strong in Karen, and the usually mild-mannered lady glared steel-eyed right into the head nurse's face, her lips a firm line. 'He is not leaving until he sings to his sister' she stated.

Then Karen towed Michael to his sister's bedside. He gazed at the tiny infant losing the battle to live. After a moment, he began to sing. In the pure-hearted voice of a 3-year-old, Michael sang:

'You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray.' Instantly the baby girl seemed to respond The pulse rate began to calm down and become steady.

'Keep on singing, Michael,' encouraged Karen with tears in her eyes.

'You never know, dear, how much I love you, please don't take my sunshine away.' As Michael sang to his sister, the baby's ragged, strained breathing became as smooth as a kitten's purr 'Keep on singing, sweetheart.'

'The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my arms'.. Michael's little sister began to relax as rest, healing rest, seemed to sweep over her.

'Keep on singing, Michael.' Tears had now conquered the face of the bossy head nurse. Karen glowed.

'You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. Please don't take my sunshine away...'

The next day...the very next day. the little girl was well enough to go home

Woman's Day Magazine called it The Miracle of a Brother's Song.

The medical staff just called it a miracle.

Karen called it a miracle of God's love.

NEVER GIVE UP ON THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE.

LOVE IS SO INCREDIBLY POWERFUL.

Source: My beautiful wife and her e-mail friends.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

What Love means to a 4-8 year old . .

'When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.'
(Rebecca- age 8)


'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.'
(Billy - age 4)


'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.'
(Karl - age 5)


'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any
of theirs.'
(Chrissy - age 6)


'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.'
(Terri - age 4)


'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.'
(Danny - age 7)


'Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that.
They look gross when they kiss'
(Emily - age 8)


'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.'
(Bobby - age 7 Wow!)


'If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,'
(Nikka - age 6)


'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.'
(Noelle - age 7)


'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even
after they know each other so well.'
(Tommy - age 6)


'During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.

He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.'
(Cindy - age 8)


'My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.'
(Clare - age 6)


'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'
(Elaine-age 5)


'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.'
(Chris - age 7)


'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.'
(Mary Ann - age 4)


'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.'
(Lauren - age 4)


'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.'
(Karen - age 7)


'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross.'
(Mark - age 6)


'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.'
(Jessica - age 8)



Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, 'Nothing, I just helped him cry'
( 4 year old)

Source: A friend

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Three Bullets

There once was a man who had nothing for his family to eat. He had an old rifle and three bullets. So, he decided that he would go out hunting and kill some wild game for dinner.

As he went down the road, he saw a rabbit. He shot at the rabbit and missed it. The rabbit ran away. Then he saw a squirrel and fired a shot at the squirrel and missed it. The squirrel disappeared into a hole in a cottonwood tree. As he went further, he saw a large wild 'Tom' turkey in the tree, but he had only one bullet remaining. A voice spoke to him and said, 'Pray first, aim high and stay focused.However, at the same time, he saw a deer which was a better kill. He brought the gun down and aimed at the deer. But, then he saw a rattlesnake between his legs about to bite him, so he naturally brought the gun down further to shoot the rattlesnake.

Still, the voice said again to him, 'I said 'Pray, Aim high and Stay focused. 'So, the man decided to listen to God's voice. He prayed, then aimed the gun high up in the tree and shot the wild turkey. The bullet bounced off the turkey and killed the deer. The handle fell off the gun and hit the snake in the head and killed it. And, when the gun had gone off, it knocked him into a pond. When he stood up to look around, he had fish in all his pockets, a dead deer and a turkey to eat for his family.

The snake (Satan) was dead simply because the man listened to God.

Moral of the story:
Pray first before you do anything, aim and shoot high in your goals, and stay focused on God.

Never let others discourage you concerning your past. The past is exactly that, 'the past.' Live every day one day at a time and remember that only God knows our future and that he will not put you through any more than you can bear. Do not look to man for your blessings, but look to the doors that only He has prepared in advance for you in your favor. Wait, be still and patient: keep God first and everything else will follow.

Source: My good friend the Rev H. Dwight Bolton

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Special Grocery List

Louise Redden, a poorly dressed lady with a look of defeat on her face, walked into a grocery store.

She approached the owner of the store in a most humble manner and asked if he would let her charge a few groceries. She softly explained that her husband was very ill and unable to work, they had seven children and they needed food.

John Longhouse, the grocer, scoffed at her and requested that she leave his store at once.

Visualizing the family needs, she said: 'Please, sir! I will bring you the money just as soon as I can.'

John told her he could not give her credit, since she did not have a charge account at his store.

Standing beside the counter was a customer who overheard the conversation between the two. The customer walked forward and told the grocer that he would stand good for whatever she needed for her family.

The grocer said in a very reluctant voice, 'Do you have a grocery list?'

Louise replied, 'Yes sir.' 'O.K' he said, 'put your grocery list on the scales and whatever your grocery list weighs, I will give you that amount in groceries.'

Louise, hesitated a moment with a bowed head, then she reached into her purse and took out a piece of paper and scribbled something on it. She then laid the piece of paper on the scale carefully with her head still bowed.

The eyes of the grocer and the customer showed amazement when the scales went down and stayed down.

The grocer, staring at the scales, turned slowly to the customer and said begrudgingly, 'I can't believe it.'

The customer smiled and the grocer started putting the groceries on the other side of the scales. The scale did not balance so he continued to put more and more groceries on them until the scales would hold no more.

The grocer stood there in utter disgust. Finally, he grabbed the piece of paper from the scales and looked at it with greater amazement.

It was not a grocery list, it was a prayer, which said:

'Dear Lord, you know my needs and I am leaving this in your hands.'

The grocer gave her the groceries that he had gathered and stood in stunned silence.

Louise thanked him and left the store. The other customer handed a fifty-dollar bill to the grocer and said;

'It was worth every penny of it. Only God Knows how much a prayer weighs.'

Source: Sharon Wade via Margaret Lewis

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Growing Good Corn

There once was a farmer who grew award-winning corn. Each year he entered his corn in the state fair where it won a blue ribbon.

One year a newspaper reporter interviewed him and learned something interesting about how he grew it. The reporter discovered that the farmer shared his seed corn with his neighbors.

“How can you afford to share your best seed corn with your neighbors when they are entering corn in competition with yours each year?” the reporter asked.

“Why sir,” said the farmer, “didn’t you know? The wind picks up pollen from the ripening corn and swirls it from field to field. If my neighbors grow inferior corn, cross-pollination will steadily degrade the quality of my corn. If I am to grow good corn, I must help my neighbors grow good corn.”

He is very much aware of the connectedness of life. His corn cannot improve unless his neighbor’s corn also improves.

So it is with our lives. Those who choose to live in peace must help their neighbors to live in peace. Those who choose to live well must help others to live well, for the value of a life is measured by the lives it touches. And those who choose to be happy must help others to find happiness, for the welfare of each is bound up with the welfare of all.

The lesson for each of us is this: if we are to grow good corn, we must help our neighbors grow good corn.

Source: Author Unknown -- received from my good friend Charles Pittman