It has been awhile since I've made a blog entry. For that matter, it has been awhile since I've done any serious writing. There was a time when writing was one of my passions. Not so much to publish anything but just to get my thoughts down on paper. Now, it is as if I've lost that thrust for living and contributing. Am I feeling sorry for myself? Maybe. This concept or activity of aging is not for the faint of heart. I think about a lot of my friends -- or should I say former friends -- who are no longer among the living. I'm sure -- or at least relatively certain -- that if they had a choice, they would prefer to be among the living. I know that in my case, I prefer being among the living.
There was a time when I feared dying. Not so much anymore. I don't particularly want to die but there are days when I think death would be a welcome relief from the aches and pains of everyday living. Arthritis and its related maladies make it painful to get through a day every now and then! But when I think of my grandchildren and the joy they bring, I realize that I don't really want to die and leave them behind. This is not to say that I want them to die and come with me! HEAVEN forbid. I want tem to have a long, joyous, and happy life.
Some of my best memories are as a kid growing up in central Pennsylvania and being with family and friends. I guess that is why I enjoy the Facebook site "You know your from Carlisle, ..." The memories folks share on this site are so enjoyable. They remind me of a happier time. A care free time. No worries. No cares. As my dad would say, "Boy, you are just as dumb and happy!" The beauty of that quote is just exactly what it says -- I was dumb and happy. Not a care in the world.
Now, I am a tired, relatively lonely, old man. I wish my wife and I, my children and I, others and I would engage in conversation and reflection; however, that doesn't seem to be happening. Why is that? Is it my fault? Do I not initiate enough conversations? << mother nature called -- I had to take a break to go to the bathroom. Just prior to doing that, I put the recycles in the Recycle bin. It has been on my mind for a couple of days >> I guess I am just rambling and probably should end this. My wife just called and said lunch so I will end this for now. Peace -- Joy -- Happiness.